Wednesday, 2 July 2008

And behold my world came crashing down. I hate that i love him

Hi. I feel so depressed and as if my world is crashing. i'm deeply hurt. my boyfriend sent me this email ynite,
""hey just wanted to ask you what if I just wanted to be alone (single) and just work out some things in my life, what will you think about it and feel about it""

he's finishing his first degree in august & wants to get into med school, & he's taking the mcat by dec. he's hoping everything will be sorted out by dec, jan, or feb.
and he's saying he needs some space for a while, but dec, jan, or feb are like in 6-8 months time and that's not a while. i'm really hurt cos i didn't see this coming, and we're not in the same place so i'm wondering whether i'm a distraction to him, but he says i'm not.
he asked what my plan was, and whether i'll wait for him or wait for him and still be open. i said i'll wait for him. he said he still loves me and will always love me, and i can call or text him anything that he's always here for me.
i've just been crying my eyes out since ynite and my eyes are already swollen. i'm hurting deeply.
What do u think of the situation? for him to ask for space and time, is that a sign or way of breaking up with me. he says he's not breaking up with me that its only for a while. 6-8 months is not a while. i can wait for him as long as he comes back to me. what do u think. what if he finds someone else.
he was supposed to come and visit me this august or september after he graduates and now he's saying all these. i don't understand. if he tells me he can't make it here in august or sept i'll understand, but to tell me he needs space to sort his life out, and career and future.
i'm just so confused. should i wait for him? is there any sign that he's backing out of the r/ship that way?
the whole thing makes me hate love, and wishing i never met him. last month was our 11th month anniversary and 13th of this month was supposed to be our one year anniversary. i've not heard from him today. the reality is sinking in in my head. pls advice me.

13 comments:

Tairebabs said...

wow. I feel your pain and it makes me sad. I told you last time that I will be going into a long distance relationship soon as well becos I will be relocating. Seeing your post scares me.

The truth is that it all depends on you really. Believe me heart break always hurts and when we care for someone and they ask for space, sometimes even though it's not us they actually need space from it will hurt all the same. But all wounds heal. I can give testimony to that saying

My advice is for you to keep an open mind. I can't tell you to move on because no one knows 2moro and quite frankly moving on is not easy even for the strongest of us. But you must also be real and protect yourself because when you are in a relationship with someone that is not physically available then what does space really mean?

Aphrodite said...

Oh my days!
I dunno what to say to u babes but one thing i know is that when a guy asks for space, it's not a good sign.
For ur sake tho, i pray this is just temporary.

Babawilly said...

Thanks for stopping over.
Sorry too hear of this but these things happen.
With time all hurts goes away.
Best to forget this guy and occupy your time with something else yo feel passionate about.
Sorry to hear

NigerianDramaQueen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kemmie said...

Hey, girl. What you write is familiar, and the feelings you have are real, to me. You see, if I knew what I know now it would have saved me from wasting SO MUCH time. I want you to think long and hard about this guy and why you want to be with him...your real reasons. Then, you'll be able to tell on your own if they are healthy reasons. Unfortunately, no one can tell you want to do. It may be at the tip of their tongue but they'll hold back cos they don't want to be part responsible for hurting you. It's possible that in a few years time, you'll confront these people for not telling you what they really thought. It's also possible that you'll thank them- for keeping their mouth shut and letting you follow your heart. I believe you'll do the right thing for you. Life has no guarantees cos you cannot see the future. This guy could be anyone and anything. He symbolises those things you love, that hurt you. Take a deep breath and really love yourself this time away from him. Spend time getting to know yourself, love your company. For all you know, you won't need him even if he returns cos you'll have something better- YOU. And you'll know exactly what you are worth. Go, girl! I'm rooting for you.

*Thanks for stopping by.

bumight said...

you are the only one that truly knows ur man. have things changed in your relationship for him to be asking for a break?

taking a break is quite tricky in a relationship, for all you know you might be the one to move on after the break.

I second tairebabs comment below

...But you must also be real and protect yourself because when you are in a relationship with someone that is not physically available then what does space really mean?


take everything with an open mind, goodluck!

Kira Fashion said...

hi friend!
have a great day!!

a kiss!

zara (my alter ego) said...

well,needing space doesnt necesarily mean he wants to be away from u he cud realli need to sort out problems he's having so he cud have more time/love to give u.. look at it optimistically.. but u are in the best position to know if he's gonna come back to u, but if he's urs, he's definately gonna come back!
tairebabs! where are u relocating to??

Ms. emmotions said...

hmmmm,
true it hurts,
but i need u to have a clear head now, if he is asking for space please let him have all the space, no calling him or txt, if he truly loves you he did rush bck for u i mean we he dosnt hear from u in a long time,
keep an open mind, pray and yours will come and if its has already come, it wil stay ...Amen

Ms. emmotions said...

hmmmm,
true it hurts,
but i need u to have a clear head now, if he is asking for space please let him have all the space, no calling him or txt, if he truly loves you he did rush bck for u i mean we he dosnt hear from u in a long time,
keep an open mind, pray and yours will come and if its has already come, it wil stay ...Amen

Standtall said...

Sorry baby-gurl. When a partner asks for a space, it may be a sign that that person ain't coming back. Even if he/she does, u might have moved on. Mi-lady just get busy eith something u like and dont rush into another relationship until u r sure of things. Don't mourn,dont cry. Try and enjoy yourself and dont hate love

I am not happy that my b'day suppose to be ur anniversary. Well, the best will come.

aloted said...

hmm this post is so sad...and i feel u..

hmmmm i think others have said it all..all i have to add is if he really loves u he will come back..in the meanwhile concentrate on other things in your life. i am assuming you are in your early 20s...u have a lot of years ahead of u to grow wiser...concentrate on being a better person and on your studies now....and give him the space that he says he needs...allow him to miss u...

God knows best and everything is working out for ur good...

be strong!

Sha said...

dunno u, but i read dis and felt so sad, a tear dropped from my eyes too. Well what can i say, just take it easy, what will be will be, it isnt the end of the world, give him the space he needs, and if its meant to be, it will be. gOODLUCK AND ALL THE BEST!