Friday, 13 June 2008

11th month anniversary and still counting

What do you think about long distance r/ships? People think I'm crazy, some say I'm strong, and wish me luck. You must be wondering why? Well today was my 11th month anniversary with my bf. We were family friends during our childhood days till everyone moved out and lost touch. We met last year on one of the social networking sites. After days/weeks of long chats and phone calls (and secret admiration by both of us) it clicked. he asked me to be his girl, I liked him so I said yes. The only hitch was that we were in different countries and we both knew that from the start, so we knew we would have some challenges. Before we hooked up I had crossed out dating/ r/ships off my list cos I had some experiences in the past and thought I was unlucky in love.
I had never been in a long distance r/ship before and didn't know what it felt like. The first few months were not easy. We both had depressing moments cos we missed each other so much. Being in a long distance r/ship is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Seriously, its so hard. Sometimes I just felt like going crazy. It hurts so much cos I can't be in his arms when I want to and I can't see him when I want to. During those first few months, I brought up fights for no reason for more attention. I'm not the type of person that talks with female friends abt boyfriends and my r/ships. So the website helped cos they have r/ship experts there. And I also ordered books on long distance r/ships and c.ds and tapes, especially the ones by Stephen Blake. The r/ship experts were really helpful, that and the books plus communicating my feelings to my bf helped me survive those months. The books helped me realise I wasn't the only one in a long distance r/ship (ldr) and there were thousands of couples going through the same thing. It felt kind of comforting reading comments of other fellow ldr women, it assured me I wasn't crazy. The road has not been easy but he's worth it. On april 1st I played an expensive joke on him by calling him and telling him i didn't think we were going to work. He asked why and I didn't give a good reason, I just cut the phone and this was early in the moorning & my call woke him up. He was in shock and was too weak to even call me back. I called back in 30 mins time and told him it was an april fools joke. He was so relieved but said it was too expensive. I apologised for that, cos if he had played that joke on me I would have just passed out. It was damn too expensive.
So why would people think i'm strong/crazy? That's cos we haven't seen in these 11 months (though he'll visit in a few months time and I'm so excited) but yet the love is still there. Some of my male friends are like how do I know if he's seeing or not seeing someone else where is. Well that's where trust comes in and he has never given me reason to doubt him. the 3 keys to a lasting r/ship whether ldr or close ones: Trust, Communication, and Committment. And we have 3 of them in our r/ship. We don't call each other a lot cos of bills but we have our other unique ways of communicating (when he visits, we'll address the calling aspect cos it sure has to improve).
11 months and still counting, and the love keeps getting stronger. Next month will make it a year and he's still the one I love.

We've made it this far and we hope we'll work but only time would tell. I like people easily but I don't allow myself to fall in love easily, and when I do, I don't fall out of it, but if it goes wrong I just let go. But I hate heartbreaks cos I have a fragile heart and God knows if I get heartbroken I wont love easily again and can even block my heart from loving anybody again. Hey but so far so good.
Our parents both know about us. His parents knew from the start and were pleased at the r/ship. With time I told my mum,and also told my dad a few months back. My friends thimk I'm brave cos they can never tell their parents directly about their r/ships or who they're dating especially their dads. But I came out straight and told them. Funny enough they were cool with it cos they know his family and said I was old enouh for a r/ship.
There's this chart about the male brain which contrasted with the female brain chart. The anniversary part of the male brain is very tiny but the sex initiator part is very huge. Ha. While the anniversary part for the female brain was huge and the sex initiator part small. A day before each of our monthly anniversaries I always remembered and sent anniversary mssgs first. I always beat him to it. Today (our 11th anniv.) I decided I wont be the first to say it. I kept checking my mail and my phone but got nothing from him. I was like I'd wait till 12a.m and if I still don't hear from him it would be a good excuse to bring up a fight (I love small fights cos it brings us closer, but most of the fights were brought up by me and most times were for no tangible reasons, we hardly fought cos he was so quick to apologise and I can't stay mad at him for long). My hand couldn't wait till 12a.m, so I texted him and told him he forgot me and our day only to find out he didnt forget me or our day but was in school all day & had just finished. My reason to bring up a fight had gone, my finger couldn't wait. lol. He hardly gets angry or mad and that's one of the things I love about him. When he upsets and I tell myself I wont talk to him for days, my heart can't even stay an extra day till we talk about it , and I end up not keeping my resolve not to talk to him. That's what makes me different from my sister. She's so hardenned while I'm so soft. I sometimes wish I was a bit hardenned. But I guess my soft side is what makes me a sweet and lovable person. My sis can be mean to her bf, when they fight she can stay a week without talking to him. I can't do that. I'll just die or go crazy. This love self.
My man is coming to visit and I can't wait for him to come. I'm so excited. We have our height differences. he's about 1 foot taller than me. I guess that's cute. He can lift me up easily. I just hope I don't get knocked up cos I ain't ready for that now. that's double precautions. lol.
Wish us luck.
Your comments will be welcomed.